EYE Review 2016: January to March

EYEscroll back over a years worth of tweets and reflect on a crazy year of absolute blindspottery.

EYEkicked off 2016  watching Benedict Cumberbatch ‘mansplain’ feminism to a murderous cult of womens right’s activists in purple KKK outfits while also trying to work out why on earth funny man Graham Linehan had blocked me on twitter…

It turned out that Linehan was just a curmudgeonly old fan of block bots and just the first in a surprisingly long line of left leaning liberal ‘comedians’ who felt the need to reach for the block bloke button.

In retrospect these were probably some of the more predictable things to happen this year.

Sadly one of the things this year will be remembered for is the passing of many heroes and we were hardly one week in before this happened…

Later in January EYEargued in favour of keeping feminism on the school syllabus while Amy Schumer showed her class by picking on a teenage boy who only wanted to get in on the same dirty joke that she’s built an entire career on.

In February Julia Hartley-Brewer concluded that the Crown Prosecution Service had officially taken leave of its senses and that no one was safe from their terrifying incompetence on ‘sex crimes’ after a Jury ended a 51 year old cabinet maker’s ‘three year kafkaesque nightmare‘ by agreeing that the CCTV footage (available to everyone responsible for pursuing the case) clearly showed that he hadn’t so much as touched a famous, award-winning actress in a busy London Tube Station, let alone subjected her to “sexual assault by penetration”.

March began with a tragic tale that turned a much needed spotlight on the often forgotten male victims of domestic violence. Sharon Edwards was found guilty of murdering her husband David, just two months after their wedding after a jury rejected her claim that he had ‘walked into a kitchen knife.

Just one day after that verdict Jess Phillips MP stunned the House of Commons into silence with her powerful seven minute reading of the roll call of domestic violence victims over the past twelve months.

Predictably Mr Edwards didn’t get a mention.

Then again why on earth would he while male deaths are officially recorded as “violence against women or girls” in Government reports and used to lobby for ring fenced funding for women only services.

March also marked International Non Wassocks Day which EYE celebrated by talking cock and comedy with Richard Herring before he blocked me for suggesting that he wanted to have his internalized misandry cake and eat it.

If you had to sum up this insane year in one simple story then it might very well be the cautionary tale of the Tay the Chatbot, Microsoft’s A.I. experiment which went live in March and immediately started denying the holocaust and trolling Zoe Quinn.


Theresa May’s Budget boob-boosting push-up bra (apparently) sparked a Twitter meltdown which inevitably lead to Laura Bates taking the opportunity to offer another principled admonishment to anyone who’d listen, along with a brief dishonourable history lesson on the #everydaysexist objectification of female politicians and the observation that no one would ever treat us blokes like that…

While we’re on the subject of “everydaysexism”…

Apparently you can’t even sell a manly man gift card ‘for buying the most manly of man stuff‘ without being accused of everyday sexism these days.

Then again, a lot of people lost the run of themselves in 2016 so…

On an entirely unrelated note, 2016 also saw plenty of purges of non PC thought criminals and one of the first involved the ex-CEO of one of the world’s biggest tennis tournaments who found himself looking for alternative employment after answering a press conference question about equal pay for equal work in the top echelons of professional tennis.

The fool.

Elsewhere the Guardian’s Comment is Free concept started to flatline…

But at least EYEdiscovered that if you call a blog post ‘A Load of Tits & Cocks & Balls’ then it’ll generate a significantly higher than average number of views and the March madness flowed on and on with such hilarious tales as Hulk Hogan bankrupting Gawker, revenge farts from Sweden and Laurie Penny accidentally inventing the patriarrrrchy.

While absolutely no one in the popular press seemed to notice that the Home Office were getting roundly criticised for their #disrespectnobody campaign which spectacularly disrespected half of their intended audience and insulted the intelligence of many more…

And then things started to get crazy…

Next | April to June


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