What a load of tits & cocks & balls

EYEonMediaMisandry
EYEonMediaMisandry

EYEwould have thunk that if there was going to be one thing that radical feminists and most men could agree on last year it would have been Lina Esco’s #FreeTheNipple campaign.

Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, know what I mean fellas…?

After all, research has shown that, from a very young age, us Blokes can develop quite an intense fascination and appreciation of the humble mammary gland(s).  Let’s face it we’re famous the world over for this, so one would expect that when our sisters are fighting for the right to expose their breasts, nipples and all, we’d be forming an orderly line to support their campaign.

Unfortunately life is never that simple. And, as one multi million selling feminist icon pop star can tell you, context, not to mention (retrospective) consent is everything.

Besides some Blokes can’t take anything seriously…

So this week the Daily Telegraph’s Radhika Sanghani (yes she of the patriarchal air conditioning conspiracy theory) found the time to stand up for the classy ladies of Cheltenham and support their right to expose themselves at a televised public sporting event without unreasonable judgey consequences.

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EYEdidn’t fully understand the thrust of her thesis (so to speak) and it turned out that the Daily Mail had a much better collection of photos so to be honest I ended up getting a bit distracted by their side bar of shame and the important news that Kym Marsh has been flaunting her enviable curves while her dapper new boyfriend has been struggleing to avert his gaze and that Caitlyn Jenner’s golf game has improved immensely since she grew a pair.

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The people of Liverpool where generally less supportive of the young ladies’ attempts to titilate onlookers.  Merseyside men and women criticised their ‘classless’ fame hungry actions but Wirral page three model Katie Salmon and Love Island reality show winner Jessica Hayes managed to come back with a fairly robust retort (in a sun exclusive obviously).

Not unreasonably, the glamour models argued that it’s their job to stimulate lengthy column inches (or something) and they earn their living by putting their valuable assets on public display every day.  And besides: ‘We may have got our boobs out but we’d never urinate in a glass – that’s just vile’.

Because sadly, anything the girls can do, the boys can do better and so while the fillys were making a tit of themselves in one enclosure the boys in the MK Dons VIP Box were having their own ‘spray at the races’.

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The shameful footie aces filled up their golden cup to the brim and then chucked it away.  As a consequence of pissing in a pint glass at the prestigious party, Cheltenham Officials banned them from attending the second day of the festival and police described their vile behaviour as a ‘thoughtless act which was not acceptable’.

Some in the media even called for their arrest given their gross acts of indecent exposure that were clearly visible to anyone with a long range camera lens.

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As the first green shoots of spring officially appear on google today, Britain has clearly come out of hibernation because various punters in the press where even getting hot under the collar about the Home Secretary’s head lamps. Or as the Express put it, Theresa May’s Budget boob-boosting push-up bra sparks Twitter meltdown.

This inevitably lead to a counter surge of faux feminist outrage with Glass Blind Spot regular Laura Bates predictably on the front line offering principled  admonishments to anyone who’d listen, along with a brief dishonourable history lesson on the objectification of female politicians and the observation that no one would ever treat us blokes like that.

In fairness between David Cameron’s bald spot, Donald Trump’s glove size and one unlucky rugby player’s cucumber, there was plenty of cock action on display as well this week.

Speaking of appendages of questionable length, this week also saw the outcome of the Hulk Hogan v Gawker trial.

In a strange victory for freedom of speech enthusiasts (which would take too long to explain here) the Hulk was awarded substantial damages from Gawker after they published excerpts of his stolen sex tape.

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The result was a surprise to some with Guardian columnist Sara Morrison arguing that Gawker had a strong free speech defence argument.  Mind you Guardian columnists have long since lost the moral privilege to lecture anyone on free speech and even she acknowledged that their editors had struggled to convince a jury of the newsworthiness of a story built around dick jokes.

Gawkward highlights included an attempt to draw comparisons between the case and the holocaust.

In their opening defence, Gawker’s lawyer highlighted the tragic fact that as the maternal son of a Hungarian Jew who “survived the Nazis”, the founder of this esteemed publication grew up in a family “who’ve seen first-hand what happens when speech is suppressed,”

The Hulk was then grilled about the size of his penis under cross examination, which is just one reason why Brietbart’s Allum Bokhari reckons that A.J. Daulerio, former editor of Gawker (and Athlete Dongs) has an unhealthy fascination with cocks.

Fortunately it was revealed that Daulerio and his former employer do have some standards, after he confessed under oath that he would never consider publishing a sex tape involving a child (under the age of four).

EYEis a champion of freedom of speech and I also think that adults should take responsibility for their words and actions.  That’s why I celebrated the news from America but also why I was a bit confused by Radhika Sanghani’s report about recent events down under and the outrage as madonna pulls down 17 year old fans top and exposes her breast (and nipple).

Thanks to the Daily Mail you can judge for yourself.  In my humble subjective opinion, madge’s actions appeared to either be a genuine accident or a very carefully rehearsed skit designed to generate column inches.

Either way, and not for the first time, Sanghani seems to want her cake and eat it.

After all this tit and cock action you may be excused for (potentially) missing the most important story of the week.  This of course is the news that the latest research has (possibly) found that there is (probably) a pecking order on the news sofa which means that BBC Breakfast’s Louise Minchin was (definitely) the victim of deep rooted newsroom misogyny.

EYEis no expert in such matters but I suspect that whoever invented this notion may actually be on to something because when the folks over on ITV conducted a cheeky experiment, I found that my eyes did automatically fixate on the left hand side of the seating arrangement.

EYEwill let you insert your own ‘tit clearly visible on the right hand side of the screen joke’ [here] and leave you with the thought that all these shenanigans reminded me of Russell Brand’s appearance on MSNBC and his observation that we are after all made of flesh and blood and have instincts.

Not to mention his plea to our ‘trusted anchors‘ that they look beyond the superficial and focus on the important things in this world.

Trust me, whether you think Brand is a total cock or not, it is well worth another watch…

And finally…

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